I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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