She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
