I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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