this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
