We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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