the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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