Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
