So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
