we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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