bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
