And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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