Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
