nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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