so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
