guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
