I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
