so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
