Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I want her autograph on my taint
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
