I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
