I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
