So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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