Your dad touched me again.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
