I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
