I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
