TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
