Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm jealous of your bromance
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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