you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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