I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
