The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
