if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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