Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize