Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
