I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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