Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
