not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
