apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
