im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
