thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
