super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
