if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
