i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
