it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
