can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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