i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
