The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
