Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
