I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
not ubering you a puppy
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
