Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize