i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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