you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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