my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
where am i from again
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
