I checked into jail on foursquare
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
