Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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