holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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