ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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