# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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