I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize