Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
