Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
