we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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