I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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